Not myself

For the past few weeks I have found it hard to express how i feel. It may be because i have had an inadequate amount of sleep. I am finding it hard to talk to people. Don't get me wrong, small talk i am fine with. When it comes to an actual conversation i find myself unsure of what to say. I find myself avoiding people. I find myself avoiding myself. I am unsure of how to explain it. someone asked me today if i had processed anything about china. I think the answer is no. I am finding it difficult to think about it. It is not that i don't want to think about it, i just have nothing. I feel very overwhelmed but i keep avoiding it. Filling my time with things to do. I need a break. I need a week to myself. I have been going and going for the past 2 months, and it is not slowing down. I feel uneasy, like i am missing something. I want to be content. I want to feel peace. It is strange though. I know that the peace I am looking for is only found in God. I know this yet i still feel nothing. Is God tyring to teach me something? I have found my self lying to people. You know the casual, How are you as you walk by. I always reply "I'm good" But i know that in that moment i lied. OK maybe it is not a lie, sometimes i am good. But i sometimes wonder if people really want to know how i am. If i were to tell them that i don't really feel like myself, that i am not really at peace about anything. I am not sure that people are really wanting to hear that kind of answer. I know they care but they have there own problems. I don't want to complain about my "terrible" life. I know that i have been blessed, but i am finding life in general a little tiring. I just wish i knew how to well get back to myself. I am a little losed here. So if by chance you are reading this i would not mind the prayers.