Stepping over the divide

Sleeping at Last

2010-08-27T22:39:00.002-05:00

Whenever I listen to Sleeping at Last I feel like I am a freshmen in college again:) I wish that music would take you the time you first heard it.

Jesus

2010-03-04T22:23:00.000-06:00

Homework: Draw myself in a picture of Jesus.

I am not sure how to go about such a task. Each time I have searched for a picture, I have failed. I feel a little weird, you know a little blasphemous. Any ideas? Question directed to the unknown audience, that once exist but no longer due to twitter. But if you are out there. How would you go about doing this? What picture of Jesus would you draw yourself into?

think about it, its hard. let me know.

Betsey Reed

2009-08-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

Have you ever Googled yourself and thought that the links that come up are you in an alternate life? Please excuse the misspelling of the name
For example I had to laugh.

Chai.

2009-06-18T04:03:00.000-05:00

I have been in Kenya for almost three weeks. For details on this trip you can go to the blog me and fink made for the trip. Oursummerinafrica.blogspot.com. Fink is doing the updates, so you know. She is more detailed so there is more information.

Above our some pictures so far in the trip.

Thoughts on the topic of Africa

2009-05-28T13:15:00.000-05:00

I am leaving in two days for Nairobi, Kenya.
I am starting to get a little nervous.
If you would keep me in your prayers. :)

Papers.

2009-04-15T10:54:00.000-05:00

I wish they would leave me alone.

Jesus aka Pepsi

2009-03-19T23:20:00.000-05:00

I was sitting in a coffee shop today, when i overheard someone say that Jesus is the Pepsi of religion. I found it very interesting. I would love to hear what you think about it.

Is it wrong I find this really funny?

2009-03-19T23:18:00.000-05:00

Death
Our nations number one killer.

I want it.

2009-03-16T16:56:00.000-05:00

Please.

This is going to stretch me.

2009-02-12T14:12:00.000-06:00

The Subject

Before

After

What it should kinda look like.

The reason for the wheel.

2009-01-25T17:14:00.000-06:00

http://www.elibridge.com/companyhistory.html

I have seen this Ferris wheel my whole life. I finally decided to figure out why.

Jess' password.

2009-01-22T17:22:00.000-06:00

Prayer.

2008-12-12T23:10:00.000-06:00

Lord give me the strength.

Homework.

2008-11-18T20:31:00.001-06:00

My homework in photography this week asked me to look pictures up on my topic of Photojournalism. Here are a few pictures I really liked.

Blug.

2008-11-04T18:34:00.000-06:00

I don't like that growing in my faith involves my brain hurting so much.

Saturday nothingness

2008-10-25T16:48:00.000-05:00

I love starting Saturday mornings with nothing to do. Even better when roommates also have nothing to do.
Jess and I decided to bake today. We baked a plum pie. If you have never had plum pie you should as soon as possible. I made this noodle chicken thing. It was pretty good. Anyway after we were done cooking, Kara came over and we had a wonderful dinner at 3. It was wonderful.

Picture- We share a camera with our friend Jared for photography, anyway he was on the way up to get the camera and Jess and I decided to leave a picture for him.

Complementary colors

2008-10-18T20:57:00.000-05:00

Spiced Sugar
Bayfront palm
Celadon Green

These are the colors of my room:)

1:44 a.m.

2008-10-08T01:36:00.000-05:00

The things I think about at 1:44 in the morning.
1. How am I going to get through this week?
2. Will Fink and I find somewhere for our internship/are we allowing God to lead us to where he want us to go?
3. Should I take the position? * if I do, I will explain on here later.

I have no answers and i am left with my stomach in knots.

Trying to capture the beauty.

2008-09-29T22:36:00.000-05:00

I spent two hours in the gullies yesterday. It amazes me how beautiful the world is. I am sad to say that this is the first time i have been out this year. Odd I am usually out more than that by this time in the year. I am in a photography class this semester. I am really enjoying it. Although most of the time I unsure how to fully use the camera, I think i am getting a few good shots. But who i am to say, I by no means really knows that what the perfect picture looks like. It was really nice to lose myself out there. Anyway here a couple ...

I like them.

2008-09-18T21:55:00.001-05:00

I feel like...

2008-09-02T23:48:00.000-05:00

all I have been doing for the past week has been reading. My eyes are starting to hurt.

"Absolutely I do."

2008-08-23T16:24:00.000-05:00

My mom and I have succesfully become addicted to the office.

Ingredients for a 21st Birthday.

2008-07-31T20:14:00.000-05:00

1. codeine-painkiller: a white crystalline drug derived from opium (really?), but milder in action, used as a painkiller and to relieve coughing. This was a gift from God. I got my Wisdom teeth out yesterday.

2. Shopping with my mother, Compete with Goodwill and a Cherry limeade.

3. Making the coolest record bowls ever.
I am serious.
Turn oven to bake at 350 and place old record onto pizza pan.
Bake for a 1 1/2 min.
Take out and place in slightly smaller bowl. push down into shape of bowl...result, Amazing.
4. sleeping a whole lot.:)

Trust me

2008-07-19T22:38:00.000-05:00

9 down 1 to go.

my internship ends this week. In most cases being gone for 10 week people would be excited to be going home. I on the other hand am at a loss. I am happy for the break, but i will miss everyone terribly. At the beginning of the summer i was somewhat nervous. This has been the first time that I have been "on my own". I knew no one 9 weeks ago and now I feel like i am leaving my family. I wish sometimes that all of my friends lived in the same place, i know that is not possible but it is a nice thought. I have one more week of mission indy and then my parents will be picking me up taking me back to IL. This past week was my last week at Horizon house. The overall experience was wonderful. God has taught me a lot. I know i was there 20 days but i feel in that time i have become a different person. I saw the love and compassion God has for his people. Helping at Horizon house has been has helped me to see that there is something we can do to help people. The meaning of the Good Samaritan. I by no mean have been the good Samaritan but i have seen what is to be one. Giving your all to help your brother/sister in Christ. I never expected to see the fruits of my labor there. My goal was to love them as God would. But on the last day, John, one of our neighbors, came up to me and showed me his ticket stub. It showed me that he has gotten a job that we had looked up together. It amazes me how God works.

As I was thinking of this one of my favorite songs Trust Me by the fray kept playing over in my mind,

Looking for something I've never seen
Alone and I'm in between
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never been
I found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's just a few things you should know
We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand

If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
But take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
This traffic is perfectly still

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand

And then again maybe you don't
And then again maybe you won't

When you're older you might understand
When you're older you might understand

The chorus is what gets to me. We have been called to help our brothers/sister with everything. And we only have one turn to do it. I just hoping that i am not messing it up.

My 4th

2008-07-04T22:52:00.000-05:00

My fourth consisted of
A. 4 hours at the Indianapolis Art Institute.
People to look up (Last names, in order taken from my map):
1. Hardrick
2. Melchers
3.Bell
4.Homer Really like him
5.Thayer
6.Kuitca This looks red but closer it a huge map, really cool.
7.Benson
8. T.C. Steele
9. Robert Reid same name as my gpa
10. Duran
11.Colyer
13.fitton What the heck.

B. Near death experience (almost got hit by a firework)

Over all good day.

In Response,

2008-06-20T23:06:00.000-05:00

Today marks the end of two weeks helping in the employment center. I am starting to get the hang of things around here. The first week was somewhat hard. My Job is to help the neighbors with their resume. So that means I answer a lot of questions about the computer and running back and forth trying to correct the countless grammar mistakes I did the night before. Most of the time I feel useless. That is starting to wear off though. I am starting to get to know the staff. At first they didn't really talk to me being that I was a volunteer. I am sure that they have hundreds of volunteers walk in there a year. So after the fourth day they figured out I was coming back and that I did care and was not there because I needed some hours. The work is a little much. It is not hard but it not as fun as I would like. But that is not the point of my time there. I have to say though it can be difficult. I work in the room with no windows, and starting at a computer screen all day. By the end of the day I find myself standing outside apologizing for neglecting it all day.
I am growing quite a bit. I am not sure in what ways but I know it is there. I said it before most of the time I am not much help. Sometimes though there are glimpses of what it is I am trying to do. My goal to help them get a job, most of the people I work with have no idea how to even turn a computer on. Most of the day I am telling them for the 5th time step by step where to go. I think that anywhere else I would get impatient. I have to wonder “ Is there a place that they could go to learn the basics to survive in this world that is slowly being taken over by technology?” Today I helped a man submit 4 resumes and the directions to another. My prayer is that for a moment he sees that people have not forgotten him that he does matter. This opportunity has allowed me to open my eyes and make an effort. I am continually hearing God tell me that people do matter. I just hope that I can give them what they deserve.

It is funny God works, this summer I came to learn and grow. I was not expecting a lot, but God has provided everything. He keeps reminding me that he is watching out for me and I am not along in this city. The other day I was thinking about how I wished I had a volunteer key, everything is locked and hate asking every time I need something. The other thing was my eye was burning like crazy and I wanted saline solution. Not a second later I walked into the bathroom and found a key and solution. He boggles my mind sometime. On top of that my host family is wonderful. I have nothing to offer them yet they give everything. I only wish that when the time comes that I will do the same. I feel at home here but I guess that is what God intended.

Teal tights

2008-06-15T23:18:00.000-05:00

We just finished our first week of Mission Indy. It was great. It was a lot easier than i expected. I work with a couple of the other interns at a church in the city. I group from Neoga IL came and helped us put on a VBS. It was really cool because some of the people in the group knew where Winchester was. Small world. We also worked on the church, so i did a lot of paint scraping and painting.Oh the joy. For the VBS weeks my friend Joey and I wake up the groups with a workout every morning. The song list includes, Jump on it, ice ice baby, safety dance just to name a few. I have been here 3 weeks and so far it has been a complete blessing. It is going to be hard to say goodbye at the end of the summer. We went to see The Happening. I was very disappointed. well, i will go into more detail when i am not so tired..... here are some pictures. 1. Is a picture of the interns .2. i am the pretty pretty princess. 3. Joey and I waking people ups...yes those are teal tights.

:)

2008-06-05T18:15:00.000-05:00

Lunchtime cinnabons make my day.

Paper marbles.

2008-05-31T23:49:00.000-05:00

I have been blessed with an amazing team. I could not have asked for better people to work with. I was little concerned about the summer, but that is pretty much gone. Everyone here has truly been the hands and feet of God. I know this Summerr is going to be hard, but i know that it will be completely worth it. God is so good. I love our team I am having a lot of fun. The past week i have been working of some houses. Although hard work it is fun. I am getting excited about the little things like, using the many different saws and climbing scaffolding to scrape the paint of the bottom of the roof. Today some of the girl interns went over to one of leaders houses and had a craft day. We made pendents out of clay and some other fun stuff. I could go on for a while but it is 1 and i am tired.

Not so far from home.

2008-05-25T23:01:00.000-05:00

This summer I am Intern with the group mission Indy. Mission Indy is a group that supports other missions in the in the inner city of Indianapolis, not to be confused with India. For some reason, I have had this idea in my head that it is better to serve far away from home. That in some way being half was around the world that i am making more of an impact. I am slow to learn i guess. When i learned of mission indy i was a little hesitant hoping something better would come along. Needless to say I am now a temporary resident of Indiana. This will be the first time that I have been a way from home on my own. Even in china my friends were still just right down the hall. I am learning that God is truly with me where ever I go. He is in the places that I visit and the people that i meet. God has blessed me and provided for my every need.
It is funny how God works. This past January I went with my school to Seattle. The Focus of the class was Church in the city. We learned about the role of the church. During the trip we visited many different organizations that help with basic needs of the city. This trip was only a taste of what i will doing this summer.
Mission Indy works along side other organizations to build up the church. For a part of my time I will be working with outside Church's to rebuild homes and Vacations Bible Studies for churches in the inner city. It amazes me that city's smell and sound the same. Forgive me for my lack of experience,being that i have lived in the middle of know where for most of my life. Although the smell i am speak of is foul and the sounds are loud annoying cars, it was almost comforting. At one point in the trip i closed my eyes and the sounds and smells remind me so much of Hong Kong that i was a little disappointed to open them and find that i was surround by Americans.
The other half of my internship I will be working with the organization Horizon House< Read this because it will explain it better.
I am excited for the summer and i can already see how God is changing me. so i am going to end this post with this...the group of our interns was walking down the street and a man came up to us. He was nicely dressed and there was a women with him. He asked us what we where doing, i have to say it was a bit random, I knew that we were a bit out of place but i am not sure that i would been able to just ask like he did. after we had told what we were doing, he followed by thanking us many times and telling us that they only way the city is going to change is through the youth. That it is our job to make the difference in world because no one else is going to do it for us.

Mission Indy.

2008-05-18T14:54:00.000-05:00

I got to go on a Zip line yesterday. It was great.

I gave blood!

2008-05-08T18:11:00.000-05:00

According to my shirt i am a hometown hero.

I think it might be better

2008-05-05T23:46:00.000-05:00

if i leave this canvas blank.

I am working on my final for painting. I am somewhat scared to start it. I spent so much time making the canvas that i think if i painted it i might ruin it. this is will be the biggest painting i have attempted this far in my life. I hope i don't hate it after i am done.

break?

2008-05-01T01:01:00.000-05:00

I am ready to not know what day it is.

Walkabout

2008-03-26T11:41:00.000-05:00

The more and more i think about Walkabout the more i like it. It has taken me almost a year to come to that conclusion. Overall i think it was a good experience. Maybe next time will stop complaining about things and just enjoy life. hmm.

Easter.

2008-03-22T16:35:00.000-05:00

I never was a huge fan of easter.It was just another day set aside for my mom to dress me up like a girl. I hated the dresses my mom would put on me, but as a kid i would do anything for that beautiful basket of goodness. It has been a couple years since last I received an easter basket, or was allowed to participate in easter egg hunt but i am ok with that. The past couple weeks i have been questioning Why is it that Easter is not more celebrated? I understand that Jesus' birth is very important but without easter this life would be useless. This is the first easter I think i have been genuinely excited about the story. I am excited for Easter, not for the candy, or the dinner with family but for the fact that Jesus rose from the grave. It is kind of funny in the sence that i have had that story shoved down my throat millions of times but this time i think i got it.

bleh..

2008-03-07T00:23:00.001-06:00

Dance Dance.

2008-02-23T19:38:00.000-06:00

I enjoy dance parties in my lounge.

God is good.

2008-02-17T00:47:00.000-06:00

I had the most amazing night tonight. I went with a group of people to the City Museum. I don't know what it is but that place makes me revert to 8 years old. I went with a group of 20 but I hung out with Marisa and Kara. It was wonderful. I had so much fun. It has been sometime that I have been that happy. The past couple of weeks have been a little stressful. Tonight was a great escape from that. I forgot everything and just was. I hurt my self and laughed so hard i almost had an asthma attach. :) After the museum some of us went to Denny's. I never can decide if i want to eat breakfast or dinner. So... I had both. Keith and I split our meal together. I really enjoyed hanging out with people i don't usually get to. I am surrounded by so many wonderful people. I have been blessed with my friends. I am in awe of the blessing that have surrounded me. It really occured tonight i made me so happy to hang out. To make it all better jenny, marisa, kara and sang Brittney spears. oh the joy. anyway needless to say God is Good.

I have been cupped.

2008-02-15T23:17:00.000-06:00

Need i say more.

impusive thoughts

2008-02-09T21:26:00.000-06:00

Most people can point to the places they want to go. Me, i throw my arm over the map and say here..everywhere. I know that i can go wherever i want to go. have the resources to do it. I have had the desire since i was younger. The only problem is time. I want to go now. The thought overtakes me. my heart starts to beat harder and my thoughts are lost for the next three hours. Nothing can distract me more than the thought of exploring places i have never seen.I hope to go backpacking across the US next summer with Hannah and Jess; and Marisa and I talked tonight about backpacking across Europe after we graduate. I want to go so bad. I wish we were graduating tomorrow. I wish learning were a global experience. I want to study abroad. I don't care where. I have been looking at a group called Cafe 1040. That sounds wonderful but in all reality i just want to go. i dont care where i go. there is so much to see and learn and it is just sitting there. When i start to think about i feel like my body is holding me down. I love talking about it but it really stinks when i have homework. ( by the way i am avoiding homework)If it were my choice i would start planning now. I pray that God takes me every where. I feel like if i were held back i would die. I feel like there is some much out there for me to see. I love here but my heart is not here. It is the in the adventure yet to be had. If only i were rich this would not be an issue. I guess i need to learn wait on the Lord, but lord I am ready. Take me now!I don't think any homework is getting done tonight. drat.

Darn Ocean.

2008-02-08T22:35:00.000-06:00

My class in Hong Kong is getting together for a party. I want to see them, the darn ocean is getting in my way.

Mold in the shower

2008-02-06T10:31:00.000-06:00

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/loofahs
Loofah- a sponge consisting of the fibrous skeleton of the fruit of a loofah( or plastic)

My definition:
Loofah: The eight disgusting things hanging above my head in the shower.

Root of hate:
1. I am allergic to perfume, which means it is very difficult to find liquid soap. In turn i use bar soap. So the thought of owning a loofah is useless.

2. They trap the dirt on your body, which is good, but then you use it again allowing the dirt of yesterday to stay.

3. It is difficult to take a shower without looking up. I feel like they are staring at me.

4. Get caught in the shower curtain.

5. They are collecting in the bathroom( kinda reminds me of mold). I think they are planning an attack.I have a feeling that the water pipes are in on it as well. The speed that that water can go from extremely hot to ice cold is astonishing. I am starting to think that the bathroom in general is out to get me.

TP

2008-02-01T14:02:00.000-06:00

Friends+ Time= prank wars 08.

Tammy and Allyson TPed my room yesterday.
They were using my room to watch TV and when i went back in, it is was white.
They left with a note stating "Prank Wars 08".
They don't know what they started.

ok.

2008-01-28T00:16:00.000-06:00

I have been busy these past couple days. Somewhat distracted by things that need to be done. It is the beginning of second semester and I am still going. I really have not stopped going for a while now. With the start of the semester I have all these goals i want to accomplish by the end of the year. I have not really taken time to stop.
While walking to the union i looked up. I was taken aback at the beauty above me. I sat down and and stared. It has been awhile since i have really relaxed. I needed it because i have been a little peopled out. Not really taken some quality me and God time. I asked Hannah and Dan if they wanted to go later to the country.

Around 11 we went and found a nice spot in the middle of nowhere. The stars were so big. I am not sure the last time i have been out. Being there gave me such a sense of peace. I cannot tell you the number of nights i have gazed at these stars but i know that they still give the same feeling every time. That feeling that every thing is going to be ok. I love it. It was like God was standing right next to me.

One less.

2008-01-06T00:53:00.000-06:00

Built in 1949, the world's largest Catsup Bottle stands proudly at a 170 ft. tall. It is located in Collinsville IL and is a wonderful site to see. Tonight I went shopping with Allyson and Tiff. We went to Fairview heights to the mall. On the way back we went through Collinsville. I had only seen it once on the Food network and excited to know it was so close to my home. Well tonight I saw it. I am a fan of "The Worlds Largest..." So this is one i can check off my list. :)

Overwhelming thought.

2007-12-31T00:29:00.000-06:00

I want to go everywhere. Now.

My love.

2007-12-28T22:56:00.000-06:00

I know that there many things that make me happy, but i feel there is one thing that gets me in whatever shape it is in. That is Art and anything to do with it. This Christmas my mother bought me paint brushes. They are wonderful. I know my strange fascination with them is weird, but i do not care. I find my self staring at them and wondering what amazing thing will come out of them. Where will they take me? I wish you could see them. Christmas was nice to me this year. I am excited to see what will be created. :)

Halo

2007-12-24T12:49:00.000-06:00

"The man downstairs listens to the strangest music."-Mom

"No Mom i don't think that is music."- me

The man downstairs is addicted to Halo. I am sad to know the music even through the floor. It seems I cannot escape the game even when I am home.

Breathing.

2007-12-23T17:01:00.001-06:00

इ ऍम रेअल्ली एन्जोयिंग थे हिन्दी इ
So the hindi button is amazing.
Home has been home. It 's ok. I been hanging out with some friends.
Friday we had a surprise birthday party for Jess। That was a lot of fun and today i went roller skating, I am unsure the last time i laced a pair of skates up. I had moonlight skate with my cousin Josh, he is 6 and in the 1st grade. It was great. I am sad i am unable to see them more often. So break has been better than expected. Although i am unsure if this will ever be home for me again. So much has changed, I've changed. I love the people here but i am not content. I think it may take me awhile to completely feel like i am a coming home but i know it will come, I just have to give it some time. My parents have been wonderful, I think the thing i don't like about coming home is how i start to worry. I know that every thing is going to work out but some times it overtakes me. I worry for my family and how things are going. We are making steps for the better but i wish that we could completely bypass some of these things. So for now i am ok, ready to go back at any time.

Ballons!

2007-12-15T15:18:00.000-06:00

This weekend has been amazing. I am somewhat sad that break is in a couple of days. Yesterday was the black and white party. My floor and some other got together to throw a party. We all dressed up in Black and White clothes and ate black and white food. I danced my heart out. It was so much fun. my friend Storm had his uncle make an appearance as Buddy the elf. I had a wonderful time. Today is Marisa's 20th birthday. Her mom sent her a birthday party in a box. It included everything for a five years old birthday party. I am not sure what else to say so if you would like to hear more call me. :)!

Non-Toxic

2007-12-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

"I'll do it, if you do it."-Betsye

"Are you going to do it?"-Dustin

"Yes, If you put it in your mouth, I will" -Betsye

"one"-Dustin

"two" -Dustin

"three"-Dustin

(Time Passes)

"It's really salty"-Dustin

"Why did we do this!"-Betsye running for a cup of water

This the the conversation i had with Dustin Swarm before I ate Play-Doh for the first time.
Don't do it. It taste so bad.

thought.

2007-12-11T20:04:00.000-06:00

I am not sure that cleaning helps me any.

Broken Records

2007-12-10T21:07:00.000-06:00

I am blessed.
This week is finals. I should be stressed out but God loves me and well i don't really have any. I have nothing to do. I can't tell you the last time that happened. Today was amazing. I love not having anything to do.
The Library has all these old records they were giving away for free. I picked out a few that no one would mind me breaking. I have always wanted to create something out of old records. I had the thought of how cool it would look to make something with broken records. So... Storm and I went and threw them at Hogue. We figured that it's falling down, it wont matter. It was so much fun watching them shatter against the building. Every Friday this semester a couple of friends and I have gotten together to paint. I love paint club, it gives me a reason to paint sometimes i get too busy and it is such a stress reliever. I love my friends, I could not ask for better.
With all the free time i have had i went to the coffee shop above the theater. I just sat up there for an hour and read Scottish short stories i borrowed from Trevor. Its a good book and the author is J.M. Reid, I wonder if i am related to him.
The night is getting better, the president of the school is going to read to the student body The Night before Christmas. I am so excited!
**Hannah edit: I love my roommate, Betsye Ann Reid. Even if she is clinically crazy.**

Perfect Day.

2007-12-07T01:02:00.000-06:00

Ingredients for a Perfect Day.
No specific order is given in the making of the day, just mix and BAM the Perfect day.

No Class
Chocolate Chip Cookies
SNOW!!!!!!
Two meals with Jess Haley
Christmas Parties
Turtle necks
Christmas Greeting Cards

Snow

2007-12-05T10:25:00.000-06:00

Where are you?

Oh to be 6 again.

2007-11-23T22:46:00.000-06:00

Every time I come home I am struck by an overwhelming feeling.
Suddenly I am no longer 20 years old i am 6. It is like the younger version of myself is trying to break free. I am being pulled in two different directions, and I'm the one doing the pulling. I am unsure of how this came about, but i am somehow feel guilty for growing up. Which i know is absurd. I cannot express in words the way i feel. I can tell you that I am excited about what may happen in the future, at the same time I am scared out of my mind. Which i think is the is feeling that has come over me. Inside i just want my dad to hold me and tell me that everything is all right. But he is not, i am on my own. My parents have been a great encouragement in my life. they taught me that i could do anything that i want. I am ever in debt to them. I know that this feeling....or whatever it is will go away in time but at the time being i am scared and wish to be 6 again.

You Got Mail.

2007-11-18T14:32:00.001-06:00

Such a wonderful movie.

Falling into happiness

2007-11-16T01:13:00.000-06:00

Recently i have been feeling Gods work in my life.
For the past month or so I have been feeling down. I am not sure why, i don' t think there is any special reason it just was. I think things are starting to look up for me though. I am trying to be the person God has made me. I fail everyday but at least i am trying. I find sometimes i just give up and run in the other direction.Well i am starting to come around. The past couple of nights i have felt content in my self and what i was doing. I am not even sure the last time i had that feeling I think it came about in class. I was Old testament survey and Dr. Joe was talking about how in the Bible when people went out to spread the word they focused on helping the people before taking time to think about them selfs. Lately i have been taking a lot of time from the girls on my floor. In all reality i was scared i have no idea what i am doing. so i ran. I thought that focusing in on me would make me a better person for the floor, but God thinks other wise. I have been spending more time with my girls. I am doing it because i want to. I love them all, I know that they are teaching me to be a better person everyday. They are amazing i could have not asked for any better. they make me laugh. This entire experience has made me humble. I can see God working and moving in my life. It is wonderful. So things are good even when they are not so i think i am doing alright. The past week or so has been amazing i have had a great time. Yesterday i played in the leaves with Marisa. She has been such a blessing in my life. She is truly one of my best friends. Thanks God.

This one is for Michi.

2007-11-05T15:37:00.000-06:00

I do not like make-up.
I do not like red.
I do not like my hair done.
Why is it that I like this picture?

In the Silence.

2007-10-08T23:32:00.000-05:00

I took a walk tonight, just me and God. It was nice. I have not done that in a while. I found myself thinking about what is it that God wants me to do. I mean in all things, where is it that God want s me. So randomly i though about Beauty and the Beast. There is a part in the movie where the father has to decide on which path to take. Path A: a beautiful open path, Path B: The dark scary one. well that is where i started to think, No man in his right mind would chose that path. But what if that is the path that God has set before us? I feel like that is what God has set before me. In a different way God has set before me a path that scares me. I am unsure of it and i don't really like the way it looks. I know that it will be good, but i question what he is doing sometimes. Oh well i am not God, Thank him for that.

Betsye

2007-10-02T10:50:00.000-05:00

I am sitting in my bosses office being serenaded by the lovely tunes of my good friend Michi Yee. she lives upstairs, and i can here her music through the floor.my whole life i wanted a song of my own. I know it is stupid but deep down inside it was a desire of mine. Well today was the day. Michi is upstairs working on that song. It's name is "Betsye". Good name i think. anyway, maybe one day she will play it for you, i have to say it is wonderful.

My Attempt.

2007-09-29T23:39:00.001-05:00

I was thinking the other day, How is dishonest I am with people. I mean in the sense of how I am doing, what I was thinking, that kind if thing. I think just in general I feel dishonest. I know I am not the only one that feels this. But I feel fake. I want people to see me, not just the one i allow them to see. I think I sometimes I forget how important that really is. I want to be truly humble in everything. God has never been anything but, i want to be that way, i want to show people i really do care. i do. Sometimes i feel like i do not show it like i should. It is a work in progress but i will get there with Gods help.

Books.

2007-09-27T12:36:00.000-05:00

I hate that the only time I have the desire to read Mommsen's History of the Romans Vol.III is in the middle of writing a paper.

I am his Favorite

2007-09-26T20:00:00.000-05:00

God is Amazing.

I was reading in Romans Chapter 2:1-16
God's Righteous Judgment 1You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? 4Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance? 5But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. 6God "will give to each person according to what he has done."[a] 7To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. 9There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; 10but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. 11For God does not show favoritism. 12All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14(Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, 15since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) 16This will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.
( oh the joy of BibleGateway)

Anyway God showed me verse 11. "For God does not show favoritism"
I started to think about that verse. That means that everyone is his favorite.I know that i have my favorite people in the world. In the grand scale of things there are only a few. But to God everyone is his Favorite. I want you to think about that. I mean God is so big he has the capacity to Love everyone that much. I know that i have heard that my whole life but i think i just now hit me. I am his favorite and you are too!

Not my paper.

2007-09-24T19:13:00.000-05:00

It may be the paper or lack of sleep but this is what i am thinking right now.

It has been a weird week. It may be the lack of sleep but I am feeling very stretched. I am starting to feel this new sense of freedom, like God is trusting me and testing me out. Although it is amazing ,i am stressed. I am starting to feel the effects. I know this is where i am supposed to be, I just want a break. I am not sure how to come by that. I am going home this weekend, I know that is not going to help. I want to go home, i do, but at the same time i don't. In a very very selfish way i want not to be needed at the same time I do. Don't get me wrong, I really want to be there for them. this week the girls have really started to show me that i am useful, but it is very taxing. sometime being the person God wants me to be is hard. I am trying but i feel like I am not doing the best i could. I heard the other day that this is the best place to be, place as in completely inadequate, this is really where God works. I am just praying that i make it through the week. so yeah.. sorry if it sounds like i am complaining, just tell me to shut up.

Hey.

2007-09-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

Last night when I was about to fall asleep God said "hey".

alone.

2007-09-19T23:49:00.000-05:00

why when i am am humble i feel so alone?
Where are you?
Why are you not talking to me.
I dont understand why i have to go through this.
What are you saying?
I want more than a quick fix, i want to be content.
I don't understand why it has to be this way.
Why no matter how much i don't want to i trust in what you are doing.

....

2007-09-19T00:40:00.001-05:00

Sometimes life just sucks.

Bring Your Bibles to Public Schools Week: Sept 23-29

2007-09-18T10:05:00.001-05:00

Bring Your Bibles to Public Schools Week: Sept 23-29

http://www.bringyourbible.com/

I have to wonder why it takes an email for something to happen. Why is this not second nature? Why should our incentive to read the bible be motivated by someone one telling me i need to? Maybe i am wrong ,maybe you think this a wonderful thing.I just have to wonder why does our Christian life have to be an event.

finally!

2007-09-11T13:32:00.000-05:00

Tonight i am going to see the Borne Ultimatum. I have been waiting way too long to see it. I am real excited. :)

Not myself

2007-08-26T13:46:00.000-05:00

For the past few weeks I have found it hard to express how i feel. It may be because i have had an inadequate amount of sleep. I am finding it hard to talk to people. Don't get me wrong, small talk i am fine with. When it comes to an actual conversation i find myself unsure of what to say. I find myself avoiding people. I find myself avoiding myself. I am unsure of how to explain it. someone asked me today if i had processed anything about china. I think the answer is no. I am finding it difficult to think about it. It is not that i don't want to think about it, i just have nothing. I feel very overwhelmed but i keep avoiding it. Filling my time with things to do. I need a break. I need a week to myself. I have been going and going for the past 2 months, and it is not slowing down. I feel uneasy, like i am missing something. I want to be content. I want to feel peace. It is strange though. I know that the peace I am looking for is only found in God. I know this yet i still feel nothing. Is God tyring to teach me something? I have found my self lying to people. You know the casual, How are you as you walk by. I always reply "I'm good" But i know that in that moment i lied. OK maybe it is not a lie, sometimes i am good. But i sometimes wonder if people really want to know how i am. If i were to tell them that i don't really feel like myself, that i am not really at peace about anything. I am not sure that people are really wanting to hear that kind of answer. I know they care but they have there own problems. I don't want to complain about my "terrible" life. I know that i have been blessed, but i am finding life in general a little tiring. I just wish i knew how to well get back to myself. I am a little losed here. So if by chance you are reading this i would not mind the prayers.

A little scary

2007-08-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday i saw something i thought i never would see.
I was walking into subway and there was a Squirrel eating a cheeseburger. What has the world come to?

tomorrow.

2007-08-03T23:28:00.000-05:00

I am leaving tomorrow, to go back "home". I sometimes think that i have been here forever. I am really sad to leave. We had our last day yesterday. It was really hard. After the kids had left i just sat there in the classroom thinking about the past month and how i am not sure if i will ever be lead back here. I went out last night. All I could think about was how i was going to miss my students and Hong Kong. I grown to Love it over here. At first when i found out that i was coming to the city i freaked out. I was not sure i was able to do it. Although the city is still not my favorite i think if i had to i could live here if i had to. I am going to miss it over here. I am ready to go home though. ok well i have to pack. I will *see* you later.:)

Bittersweet.

2007-07-29T04:10:00.000-05:00

So it is my last week. It is only Wednesday and it has been a little bittersweet. My birthday was yesterday. It was the best 20th birthday i could ask for. On Sunday, I had a birthday dinner. I went out to Pizza with my team. Oh how i miss it so. I was thinking about how i am not sure how it could get better. I mean this is pizza we are talking about I have been going through withdrawals. On Tuesday( my birthday) it was wonderful. It started out with the girls on my team decorated the bathroom and covered my bed with balloons. :) Then at school my students surprised me. They are great. It was really funny, they would not let me go in to the room. When they finally did let me in they had decorated the board and sang me "happy birthday". It was great. Along with the everything else they got me birthday cake. I was definitely surprised. But i guess it was easy to plan because most of the time i have no idea what they are saying. Then I had some of the teachers classes sing happy birthday. Needless to day it was a wonderful birthday.

It is really sad to think i will have to leave all of them. I just now feel like i have figured out what i am doing. Or where i am. Monday i was looking at the lesson. Each day we learn about a new country. Well monday was china. I was looking at the map. I found Hong Kong. It was then when it hit me that was there i was. I know i have been here 3 1/2 weeks and i just now figured it out.
I am leaving in 4 days. I am really happy but at the same time i don't want to come home. I feel like now i can acctually be of use. I guess that is how it goes. I have never done this. This as in making close friends with someone i might never see again. I makes me really sad to think about.
One the girls on my team has to leave tomorrow. Her class did this whole big goodbye. They sang to her. It might have been one of the sweetest things i have ever seen in my life. I starting to relize that i am leaving. I hate it. I don't like it all. I mean i almost cried at school. I could see how bad she was taking it. I do not want friday to come. I am not ready.
I guess i just have to trust. He knows what he is doing. I will see them again.

Panda.

2007-07-28T11:23:00.000-05:00

I went to Ocean Park today. It is a park like 6 flags. yeah, anyway i saw a PANDA!

Reconsidering.

2007-07-27T06:55:00.000-05:00

I have made it through 3 weeks of teaching. It seems like yesterday that i was home. It makes me sad to think that I have to leave the people i have met here. It is so weird how teaching has allow me to see things in myself I never knew were there. For example i thought i was a patient person. Yeah sometimes i feel like that is lie. I love the kids though. I always thought that i would never be able to work with Junior high, and that i never thought i would come to Asia. Yeah funny how things work out. I guess someone else had plans for me. I had an amazing momment today. I was having a hard time getting the kids to be quiet. I wanted to get through the lesson. i thought "if we get through it then we can just do nothing" right. Yeah they forget the meaning of shut your mouth. So i told them that they would write in their journals.
I was a little angry with them. I thought to my self" If you would only pay attiontion i would be able to bless you with free time." Then i remembered what my dad once told me" Betsye if you would only pay atention i would be able to bless you. I think i got the point. Saddly i had to drag my students down with me to figure it out. Somwtime i feel like how in the world can these kids like me? I feel like i am yelling at them all day. I mean they gave up there summer break to spend with me. Poor kids. Anyway, as i said before i have them write in Journals. I ask random questions just to get to know them better. Today i had them write 2 journals. The 1st was the the normal. 2nd was the punishment. Yeah ok back to my point i told them to write about anything they wanted to. I was kinda having a hard day. I was reading them some time later and i came to this one. He had wrote down. "I know it hard to teach our class but i think you do a good job, and you work hard. I think you can do it. " It was something like that. I almost cried. If you know me that is hard to do. I feel like i just starting to know these kids and now i have to leave. It stinks. although I am happy to go home a part of me will stay. I realized today that some of the people i meet here i will never see again. :( yeah so keep me in your thoughts.
So yeah here is my random disorganized blog. I hope it makes sense. Love and miss you all.

Home.

2007-07-22T08:45:00.000-05:00

I had pizza today!
I also went to Harry Potter.
It was like i was home.

Begging on the Street.

2007-07-20T09:35:00.000-05:00

My time here is almost over. I am not sure if i am sad or relieved. I am amazed i made it this far to tell you the truth. I am getting to point where home is sounding pretty good right now. I finished my 2nd week of teaching today. It sometimes seems like i have been here forever. I think i am starting to really get the hang of things. We had a scavenger hunt today at the school. I was so happy to be the teacher of my students. they are mine. Well not really mine but i think you get the point. Just thinking of them makes me smile.

I had the opportunity to go to a night market tonight. Not sure how i like it. A street full of items i do not need. The process of buying goes against how i function.
1. you walk into the section of items you might want to buy.
2. You try to look not interested. (Never pick anything up. The second you do the owners go in for the kill. They come and starts begging you to buy it. )
3. Ask for price. (They say 100 you say 50 this goes on for a minute or two. Very awkward. you get them down 70)
4. you walk away. then they grab you. whispering in your ear "for you i will go lower" (Lies. they don't care about me. I am just some blonde girl from America that they know that can get money. then they go down to 50. Score what you wanted. or is it?)
5. Walk out with an arm full of stuff you don't need, passing the beggar on the street wondering if it was right to go in the first place.

As i said, it made me wonder if i ever wanted to go back. Kind of scared me.
other than that i have been good. Hope you are too! see you soon!

Mango juice.

2007-07-19T06:25:00.000-05:00

So I am sick. Who would have guessed it, i am sick. Man i wish i did not get sick all the time. I feel like my throat is screaming at me. Even the thought of screaming hurts. My team leader, Mandy, took over my class yesterday. I thought i was going to pass out but i am ok now. I have to say i needed the break.
My class is performing a fairy tale. I am so proud of them, i did not even teach today they just took over. I just sat there watching them work everything out. I am counting my blessings. The kids are great. I think i am starting to get the hang of this teaching thing. I do know that I would never want to do this for the rest of my life. But who knows i am an not even sure of what i am doing tomorrow.
I think i am starting to figure out why i am here. I was thinking about it yesterday. So i am going to be an RC ( RA for those who call it that). At first i was like why am i doing this. Why in the world have i been chosen to do that? I am not a leader. Well this trip has allowed me to really get to know myself. I am finding that I can do a lot more than i thought i could. At this point i think i am ready to take on the challenge of this year. Who would have thought that I would be in Hong Kong drinking Mango Juice discovering my place in the world.Hmmm.

i think i am growing.

2007-07-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

I just got through my first week of teaching. Who would of guessed i would be in Hong Kong teaching english. I think i am figuring out that i am in here. It is weird to think that in soon it will be over. I know that i have just started, but it feels like i have been here forever. I am finding myself changed. I can see myself taking control of my life. I know that i am not doing it alone. I know it is not me that will change these kids. I am just the start. It sad to think that the friends i meet here i might never see again. I know that this is just the beginning. I know that i still have more to learn and a lot more to grow. I know that with time this will happen. I am excited to see the person i will become, but i know that i have to wait. Because everything is perfect in his time. Who know what will happen but i am willing to wait:)

hmm i think it hit me.

2007-07-09T05:34:00.000-05:00

I had my first day of class today. It was ....stressful. But it was a day needed. Today was the first day i figured out i was here. Hong Kong is very modern so sometimes i think i am in Chicago sometimes.Except for the part where it is hot. I figured out that i am going to smell for the next month and there is nothing i can do about it. The City is huge but i am not as scared as i was. Things are well. I went to a really nice restraunt the other day. This is stupid i know, but i had no idea that Fortune cookies and Sessamee Chicken was American. Who knew. Anyway it was weird to walk around and everyone stare at you. I am not to sure i like the only hot drinks at every meal. hmm. yeah other than that i am good.

It is Hot.

2007-07-02T19:57:00.000-05:00

So i made it alive. After being up for like for what seemed like forever i survive the first day. The plane trip here was an experiance. I had a lay over and missed a flight. But i am finally in California. I leave for Hong Kong in 3 days. Wow that is soon. I don't have much time to talk but i wanted to say that i am alive. I have leared a lot in that past few days, like how to cross the street and the fine art of going to the bathroom. :) fun times.

Dancing with Phil

2007-06-20T23:26:00.000-05:00

This is a Joint blog by Blog brought to you by Betsye and Jess.

Today was my (Betsye's) birthday! Well sorta. It's actually July 31st but my friends threw together a surprise Birthday party (since Betsye is forsaking her friends to go do-good in China)! We went to Pizza Hut where I received the best birthday gift in the entire world. That's right, I got fake bling. (It's cheap looking and everything.) At first I was a little hesitant to like it but after thinking a bit I decided that I couldn't think of anything else I would rather have. Thanks Jess. (You're welcome, Betsye.) After that we went to one of our favorite places in the entire world. We finally got to go dancing. We tried to go last Tuesday but we sadly learned that Phil had changed the day. But we got to go tonight. I could have not asked for a better birthday party. The YMCA offers dance classes for 2 dollars for 2 hours with the old man instructor, Phil. I think he likes it when us young people come since it tends to be heavily old people populated. Anyway I think this has been one of my favorite birthdays ever.

It has been one of my favorite friend's birthday's as well. :~) After deciding on careers as professional wave-makers in my cousin's pool (we have to decided to start a company in making waves in pools, look for us in the next movie you see waves), I accidentally lied to Betsye about not seeing her until Monday. I hate it when people lie about surprises, so I felt guilty. In actuality, I kind of forgot she'd be there tonight, even though it was for her. Dumb and embarrassing mistake. (it's ok i forgive you) Oh well. And dancing was so much fun. I think we shall try to go again next Wednesday. (we will) Betsye and I even made up our own dance step. It's slightly reminiscent of ice skating pairs. Ask us to demonstrate sometime. HannaH and Drew had to leave early, so we got some quality time in with Phil. It was pretty much amazing. (Pretty much:))

Cats!

2007-06-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day.

At first i was a little stressful. I am going to China. I am leaving in 18 days. At first i was ok but now i am starting to get nervous, but jess made it better. Jess and I spent the day doing random fun things. We were supposed to go swing dancing. Sadly they changed the day on me to Wednesday. But! Instead we got to go through a whole bunch of old pictures of us in High school and her cats. I think my favorite part was the library. I got the first four books of Nancy Drew. I am excited.

Vote!

2007-05-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

I registered to vote today. :)

i wish i were homeless.

2007-05-19T18:05:00.000-05:00

I am finding that more and more i dislike shopping. hours of my life are being wasted on time in stores. Why? Have you ever thought about Wal*Mart for instance. A huge building full of stuff. It kind of scares me the thought. Everything you could imaging can be bought at Wal*mart. I call it the devil store sometimes. At my local Wal*Mart there is vacuum at the entrance. To me it is the soul sucker Maybe i have no reason to complain it is not like i can change. That is where everything is.But i find myself wasting an hour of my life looking at stuff i do not need. i will spare you my thoughts on the mall. Sometimes i wish i was homeless, life seems but simpler to them.

...loss for words.

2007-05-19T00:31:00.000-05:00

I have a blog. I am so excited i am at a loss at what to say.