Not myself

For the past few weeks I have found it hard to express how i feel. It may be because i have had an inadequate amount of sleep. I am finding it hard to talk to people. Don't get me wrong, small talk i am fine with. When it comes to an actual conversation i find myself unsure of what to say. I find myself avoiding people. I find myself avoiding myself. I am unsure of how to explain it. someone asked me today if i had processed anything about china. I think the answer is no. I am finding it difficult to think about it. It is not that i don't want to think about it, i just have nothing. I feel very overwhelmed but i keep avoiding it. Filling my time with things to do. I need a break. I need a week to myself. I have been going and going for the past 2 months, and it is not slowing down. I feel uneasy, like i am missing something. I want to be content. I want to feel peace. It is strange though. I know that the peace I am looking for is only found in God. I know this yet i still feel nothing. Is God tyring to teach me something? I have found my self lying to people. You know the casual, How are you as you walk by. I always reply "I'm good" But i know that in that moment i lied. OK maybe it is not a lie, sometimes i am good. But i sometimes wonder if people really want to know how i am. If i were to tell them that i don't really feel like myself, that i am not really at peace about anything. I am not sure that people are really wanting to hear that kind of answer. I know they care but they have there own problems. I don't want to complain about my "terrible" life. I know that i have been blessed, but i am finding life in general a little tiring. I just wish i knew how to well get back to myself. I am a little losed here. So if by chance you are reading this i would not mind the prayers.

A little scary

Yesterday i saw something i thought i never would see.
I was walking into subway and there was a Squirrel eating a cheeseburger. What has the world come to?

tomorrow.

I am leaving tomorrow, to go back "home". I sometimes think that i have been here forever. I am really sad to leave. We had our last day yesterday. It was really hard. After the kids had left i just sat there in the classroom thinking about the past month and how i am not sure if i will ever be lead back here. I went out last night. All I could think about was how i was going to miss my students and Hong Kong. I grown to Love it over here. At first when i found out that i was coming to the city i freaked out. I was not sure i was able to do it. Although the city is still not my favorite i think if i had to i could live here if i had to. I am going to miss it over here. I am ready to go home though. ok well i have to pack. I will *see* you later.:)